Baiyoke & Bangkok

Staring out the window... buildings zip by, tall, short, some falling down, some with stains of black from rain and age,  and some brand new, gleaming where the sun catches the windows. Eighty five baht and we are able to drive on the less crowded highway which takes us to our destination in half the time the traffic jammed (lot-dit) free highway would have. I've never lived in a city before, my eyes are glued to the window. So much concrete, metal and glass jammed in such a small area... it's so different from the gentle log and wood buildings which are separated by groups of trees and grass of Alaska. It's one of those moments where I just stop and realize again where I am... what I'm doing. I'm in Thailand. For a year. I'm living in Thailand. Sitting in a taxi... in Thailand. I am in Thailand. I have these moments often...  moments where I realize what a ridiculously amazing opportunity I have.

                                                                           --

It's evening now and I find myself once again in a taxi. My eyes are glued to the window again... I'm off to eat at the balcony at Baiyoke, the tallest hotel in Thailand. I cannot wait to see the city lights, I'm they must be amazing from the 81st floor. Staring at the buildings and street signs as we zip past, my mind wanders back home... back to Alaska... to my mom, my dad, my big brother and sister and my second family. I can feel a tiny lump in my throat, how I wish they could see this, see where I am now, experience the same things. I sit there, wearing a form fitting dress and shiny black heels... something I've never worn at home. I fumble in my purse, after a moment my hand finds what I am looking for, a small stone. A woman who is like a second mother to me gave it to me before I left home, she has a similar one. I hold the stone in my palm and breath in and out. It must be a strange image... a girl in a form fitting dress and shiny black heels, all done up to go to a fancy restaurant holding a rock in her hand... It's a tiny thing, but comforting, and as I slide the smooth rock around in my hand my mind wanders back to where I am, where I'm going and what I'm doing...

-kearn